M’kay
Not something I’d brag about. Nor am I convinced your mind is as creepy as you think.
I make the claim on the basis of over 20 years writing performance appraisals at various levels. It was my practice to sit down with the person and ask them to give me a self appraisal. People were almost always far harsher on themselves than I.
Consequently, I suspect you may be too hard on yourself.