For the love of God!

A father has a child he loves very much, and he gives that child a puppy at the age of two. He names the puppy Skippy, and the child and puppy grow up together and are practically inseparable as the years go by. The child loves Skippy beyond description.

Ten years later, the father approaches the child and tells him, “Son, as your father who loves you dearly, I need you to prove to me how much YOU love ME.” So the child replies, “Okay, Daddy. What do you want me to do?” The father tells the child, “Son, I want you to take Skippy out to the woods and kill him with your knife.” Visibly and understandably upset, the child says, “WHY, Father? Skippy is my beat friend! I don’t want to kill Skippy!” At which point the Father responds, “Well, I supose that means you do not love me or trust me. Therefore, I will no longer take care of you if you don’t kill Skippy.”

Obviously distraught, but with no other options, the child leads Skippy out to the woods to kill him. With tears streaming down his face, the child ties Skippy to a tree and raises his knife to deliver a killing blow. Anguish beyond imagination courses through his young body. And just as the child is about to plunge the knife into Skippy’s chest, he hears a voice yell, “STOP!” Startled, the child turns to see his Mother step from behind a tree. As the child is wiping tears from his face, his mother tells him, “Son, you don’t have to kill Skippy. Your Father was only testing you. Untie Skippy and go home.”

Sound familiar to any of you Christians out there? By the way, what do you think of that Father? Fucking malicious masochistic sociopath, right? Piece of shit should be put in prison, huh? Funny, though, how your god of the bible gets a free pass on such behavior. And you love and worship such an entity?.. You want to be “Godly”?.. Hmmm… :thinking:

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I’ve already got a problem with this story. Isn’t “loving something beyond description” a description? I’m sorry, but it sounds like your just making this shit up as you go along. If the kid loved the puppy beyond description there would be nothing to describe and hence… NO FUCKING STORY. I’m not buying this shit for an instant.

Then how in the fuck is the reader supposed to imagine it? This story is stupid. The kid has anguish what, like lying on a sunny beach sipping on a rum and coke? I don’t fucking know because I CAN’T IMAGINE IT? Who in the hell taught you how to tell a story.

Now I am sitting here reading a story about a kid who is beyond description in a way I can’t imagine. This whole thing is fucked up.

I don’t fucking know ---- I CAN’T IMAGINE! And who in the hell invited the mother into the story? Wouldn’t it be better if the father stepped out from behind the tree dressed as a drag queen (No offense intended to drag queens out there.) It would have actually been better for the father to step out from behind the tree, give birth to a brother and then have the brother tell him not to listen to the father. That would be more realistic.

Did you give any thought to this? LOL

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lmao reminds me of this:

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I wonder if you have ever heard of metaphors, or analogies, or similes, or for that matter, metallic contrivance ramblings. Give the rattletrap a break. After all, he had a Bible so far up his well-oiled butt (don’t ask how I know it is well-oiled) for so long that there are remnants leaking out, even today…fucking literalists are the thing that will collapse all of western civilization (as we know it)…
He is merely making an attempt to reach those clearly unreachable individuals with complete nonsense, as a last-ditch effort to avert his complete and total mental breakdown which is obviously eminent at this point…

Mr Ed

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Dude, I was merely trying to tell it in a way Christians would understand.

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This god gets a lot of passes on many behaviors. The above example is cruelty (aren’t we all supposed to worship this god of love?), manipulation (so much for free will), and dishonesty (god is a liar).

But there are many other examples. We are not supposed to kill, or murder, call it what you will. Yet this god committed genocide with the great flood.

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Yes, do as I say, not as I do…

Edit…da do do do

In all fairness to Cog, the metallic contrivance ramblings do have an esoteric ambiance that almost equally far surpasses the well-defined subtle variations of the aforementioned styles of ambiguous literary expression. Therefore, it is only natural that individuals of Cog’s questionably primitive intellect would often fail to perceive the vaguely direct message being conveyed in such a blatantly deceptive fashion.

(Edited while dreaming in metaphors.)

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Agreed. You literally have to go lengths to dumb it down for the Christians (Patrick Starfish style)

spongebob-patrick

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I used to have a metaphore 750. I rode it for years. So, there you go jumping to contactactions. As for analorgies I have been to many. Think about who you are addressing. We all used metallic contrivcances, what in the hell else do you use at an analorgy?

Ahh… reaching unreachable individuals with complete nonsens … That clears things up./

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IME, there are some (alright, many) who simply cannot fathom that there isn’t someone or something in charge of it all - the cosmos, Earth, our lives, our “purpose.”

Perhaps the Man in Charge being an abhorrent and sinister asshole is still more acceptable than the fear invoked by the thought that no one is, in fact, running the show on grand and trifling scales.

One could simply make up a Christian god that’s not an asshole and worship that; I think this may lead one into admitting that the Abrahamic god as he stands is also man made, however.

Edited for revising

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DING DING DING give that man a teddy bear…
Too bad that they have not walked through my life with me… they would have accepted, by now, that indeed there is absolutely no one running the show…(pay no attention to the man behind the curtain)

Edit for Oz

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What’s not to love? (that’s sarcasm, just saying)

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Whoa! Hold up a sec, newbie! What makes you think you are allowed to just stroll up in here and start using sarcasm? We don’t do such things in The AR. We pride ourselves in being genuine and sincere. :triumph: You get a pass this time, but consider this a warning.

Meanwhile, please feel free to bash Cog all you want. :grin:

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Unless an admin or a moderator tells me that, I’ll keep using sarcasm, so suck it up. :wink:

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Hey! I said you could be mean to COG! I didn’t say you could be mean to ME! :sob::sob::sob: DAAAAVE! Valso is being mean to meeee! :sob::sob::sob:

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Nooo, I believe Cog is a lover and not a fighter.

It may be all of the private, self love practice paying off.

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Uh…I have heard of that sarcasm thing, but it is not something I would ever indulge in. Serious is my middle name, so welcome, but don’t ever expect me to participate, even remotely, in anything resembling such a rhetorical onslaught as might be evidenced in the practice of such an excuse for a civilized conversation…( mumbling to self…nobody can be serious anymore)

Edit hyperbolic non-exaggeration