This is one of the problems with writing. You are relying soley on text and have no external clues. This is also the ‘art’ of writing. A good writer can manipulate words to such a degree that they can share with you exactly what they mean without the gestures, tone, rate of speech, pacing, that goes along with spoken communication. You can’t really say what is going on in the author’s head as thughts are being written. We merely assume the person doing the writing is authentically expressing emotionala content. When you see anger or anger words as manipulation, they are much easier to deal with. An agnger reaction is always an attempt to manipulate the world around you. (Now other emotions also have this characteristic; however, not as dogmatically as anger.) There is no instance when anger is not an attempt at manipulation (even though, as I said before, it can be completely justified at times).
Crying, depression, humor, guilt, fear, disgust, nervousness, pleasure, aversion, excitement, and I think any emotion you can think of, including ‘Love,’ can all be used as manipulation. Whenever you hear the words, 'You made me _______! You know it is a manipulation. This is a very different expression than sayng something like; 'When you did ___________ I got angry." I thought you did it because ______. It seemed to me like you were _____________. This is pretty basic stuff. Knowing when an expresion of emotion is an attempt at manipulation is not always easy but a good rule of thumb this. When the person does not take responsibility for their own emotional state and try to blame others or situations around them, it is manipulation. (Now we have to look at intentional and unintentional.) But Not This Time.