Did you figure out younger than most that Santa wasn't real?

I don’t know how old I was, but maybe around five? It was definitely before I started school. That Christmas “Santa” came to us, handing out presents. Despite the big red cloak and bearded mask (which I immediately noticed was fake), I recognized “santa” as one of our neighbours. Told my parents that I saw right through it, and we never had another “santa” again.

Christmas is about Jesus? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha … Where in the Bible does it say that? What a fucktard.

Pastor David, I want to tell you today that there is no such thing as a Magic Man called Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ does not exist. The Christmas season is about Santa, Rudolph, gift giving, and good will towards your fellow man. It is an ancient holiday that was stolen by the Christians. Originally it was a Roman Holiday called Saturnalia. Nowhere in any book or any testimony does a man named Jesus with magical powers get born on December 25th. This Jesus is not real. He was not born in Bethlehem. He was not born in a manger (so says Matthew). Jesus is just a painting on a wall, dressed in bedsheets and constantly changing his hair color and racial appearance. Parents, Ya’all need to stop lying to your kids. Praying over your kids to heal them, makes them dead. When you substitute the lie of Jesus in the hea…errrrr brain of your child, you create a delusion that will prevent them from dealing effectively with life. You are bearing false witness against what is real in the world. You know in reality, there are no miracles, no one walks on water without the aid of science, laying hands on people will not cure them of anything and prayer is as useful as a fart. (I take that back. Farts actually have a purpose. Prayer does not.) There is no one watching you, no one counting the hairs on your head, and no one giving a damn how many times you masturbate in a day. There are no angels with wings watching over you. You don’t have a soul independent of your thought that you have a soul. There are not evil spirts waiting to take over your body and mind. Satan does not exist. He was a made up story by the Romans to scare their little kids and keep them in line. Pan, the great Satan of the forest (Horned god of the Heathen.) would come to the city of Rome and carry away all bad little boys and girls. Satan was the Roman boogie man and the boogie man is a myth. Your parents just wait for good things to happen and then they begin shouting “Thank You Jesus for this or for that.” The fact is that both good and bad things will happen to you over your entire life. There is no magic Jesus. It is not your place to lie to your children. Tell them the truth about Jesus.

What a DICK!

1 Like

I’ll humor you: I can’t remember ever believing Santa, the easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc. were real. I don’t know if this will fit the hypothesis or not, because I’ve been more of an outsider or loner anyway. I’d be interested in seeing a thorough investigation and study of your idea though.

I can only recall believing that the biblical god and the devil existed. Though I found it too fantastic when folks told me about the ongoing battle between god and his angles against the devil and his demons–about the angle who had been skilled at music but became evil, and god had to cast him out with his cohorts, etc.
I’m sure I believed god and the devil to be real because my family went to church (and sent us to sunday school) at least once a week and I saw all the other people who claimed to believe.
I later figured that the devil had to be a metaphoric representation (personification) of the evil within us. So, for most of my life I believed that only a god existed, then finally ‘coming to my senses’ and discarding that too.

Hmmm… Interesting concept. Don’t think I’ve ever heard that one before. Kinda cool, in a way. Still makes you wonder, though. If god hates evil so much and loves his precious human pets even more, then all god would have to do is “snap his fingers” and - (POOF) - no more “devil”. Maybe he keeps it around for entertainment purposes.

Anyway, whether a metaphoric representation or a being unto itself, I think I prefer an actual Satan. Ever watch the tv series “Lucifer”? Fantastic show! Ol’ Mr. Morningstar can be quite hilarious. :joy:

Edit to add: Oh, almost forgot. You mentioned god battling with Satan and the demons who rebelled. That ALWAYS puzzled me as a kid, and made even less sense as I got older. On one hand, I was taught god was all-knowing and ALL-POWERFUL, right? But he has to have a BATTLE with the very things HE CREATED? Seems to blow that whole “all-powerful” claim out of the water. On top of that, if being up in heaven with god is suppose to be so incredibly perfect and wonderful, then WHY would anything/anybody want to rebel? Doesn’t sound too perfect to me.

1 Like

The professional wrestling people figured that out decades ago.

Fans will pay good money to see their hero prevail, but pay a heck of a lot more to see the bad guy get the snot beat out of him.

He is a low form of life.

He is taking away from children the joy and wonder of their days of innocence before they must graduate to the gritty realism of adulthood.

Perhaps Mr. Grisham’s Tirades Toward Toddlers include the balanced explanation that his man who was allegedly born on Dec 25th represents a fanciful belief system that’s tribalistic, intolerant, champions willful ignorance, provides resistance to rational inquiry, and is (obviously) coercive toward children.

If so, perhaps he might include this in a statement after his future arrest for public disturbance when he, inevitably, kicks the demonstration of his rants up a notch in order to receive more of the attention he is seeking.

1 Like

Yes, it all seemed ridiculous. When I heard people describe this army of fallen angels fighting with the devil against their god, these people sounded just like anyone else telling wild fantasies. I thought, they should listen to themselves. Any outsider would laugh at the whole story.
I figured if this were real, then the creator just made us and the fallen angels for his amusement. In Isaiah it says he created evil. I guess some interpretations say ‘woe.’ I bet someone wanted to gloss over the brute characteristic of the all mighty. Such craziness.

When I read some of ‘Job,’ seeing god make a deal with the devil to torment Job, I shook my head. It’s right there, I thought. This god is a narcissistic, sadistic jerk. That happened within a year, I think, of when I admitted to myself what I don’t believe.
A friend had mentioned that she got inspiration from the ‘Job’ story. I started reading it. I couldn’t bear all the details and skimmed over the story. I wrote to her saying that story only made me angry that a god would do something like that. She hasn’t mentioned her faith since.

I haven’t watched “Lucifer.” I’ve heard of it, but I don’t watch much TV. I prefer comedy over drama, so if it’s comical, I might take a gander at it.

“Pastor David” is so repulsive in every way imaginable. If I was a casting director and I needed someone to play a pedo and this guy walked in the search would be over. Since the video is several years old and I don’t see any more of him going around to malls I can only hope someone convinced him to shut his pie hole, at least in public.

Oh, MAN! Yeah, the Job story! How could I forget THAT little priceless jewel? That is definitely up in the Top 3 bible stories that should be a NEON GLARING example of how sadistic and narcissistic the bible god is. It absolutely BLOWS MY MIND how anybody could be “inspired” by such an obviously horrific tale.

Another in the Top 3 would be the story of Jephthah. Jep: “Hey, God, I’m about to go start a war and kill a shit-ton of people to glorify YOU and let people know how awesome you are. So, uh, you think you could maybe help me out a bit to make sure I win?”

God: “Well, sure, Jep! After all, I AM God, so helping you win a war is eas-… Oh, wait… The people you are fighting don’t have iron chariots, do they?”

Jep: (confused)… “Uh, not that I know of, Lord.”

God: “Phew! Okay, cool. So, like I was saying, helping you kill a bunch of folks to win a war in MY NAME is super easy. But what’s in it for me?”

Jep: (thinking)… “Wellllllll… How about a human sacrifice? Tell ya what, let me win and I will sacrifice to you the first person who exits my house when I get home from the battle. Sound fair?”

God: (excited)… “Oh, ABSOLUTELY! That sounds like a GREAT deal!”… (mumbling to self)… “oooooo… i can’t wait to see the look on his face when his daughter walks out to greet him when he gets home.”… (huge grinbriskly rubbing hands together)…

Jep: “Huh? What was that last part, Lord?”

God: “Oh, uh, huh? What? Uh, nothing. Nothing at all. So, uh, go have fun with your war!”

Yeah, THAT story makes perfect sense. :roll_eyes:

Oh, and if you like comedy, then you will LOVE “Lucifer”. It’s labeled as “Drama”, but it is hilarious most of the time. The humor is very dry, dark, and subtle, but I love that type of humor. I don’t watch much tv either, but I made an exception for awhile when that series came out.

Oh yes, another example: the human sacrifice caper. That along with testing Abraham’s willingness to kill his son–pretty much equivalent as far as I’m concerned. Adding those incidents with the god’s obsession with the animal blood sacrifices, I noticed that this god was a lot like many of the other gods around the ancient world. Go figure, ha.

Little addition here: my friend who mentioned ‘Job’ said she got inspiration from him persevering through the anguish. Funny how Job or my friend (probably other christians too) didn’t question the whole situation.

I agree. But at least the other religions (especially the polytheistic ones) were willing to accept that some of their gods were assholes.

But the christian god is described as being sane, loving, and rational. That description is at odds with the accounts from the bible.

Agreed. Crazy how such oxymoronish concepts are accepted. Part of giving their god a free pass and not holding him culpable for his own evils.

1 Like

Along those same lines, here’s something else my wife has pointed out to me regarding the “poly gods”. With a few small exceptions (of course), most all the other gods almost DESPISE weakness in those who follow/worship them. In other words, those gods EXPECT their human followers to “man up” and handle their own business without going sniveling and whining to the god(s) about every little bullshit problem they encounter. Basically, those gods were going, “Show me you have a backbone to fight your own fight, and I will support you. Otherwise, piss off, you little dweeb.” And if you didn’t worship them, they really didn’t give a shit. They didn’t condemn a person to eternal torture if that person did not “follow” them. As far as some of those gods were concerned, they didn’t even want every groveling idiot bothering them with petty nonsense all the time. Typically they would just “ignore” those type of “worshippers”. (Or simply get rid of them if they became too annoying.) Those gods wanted warriors/fighters and self-sufficient workers/healers with self-confidence and strong spirit. Those they would “help”. All the weaklings were just not worth their time or attention. The Christian god, on the other hand, pretty much condones/encourages his followers to be meek, mild, and passive little lambs. And he demands everybody kiss his almighty ass every minute of every day, or he will send them away to be tortured for eternity. Big difference, in my opinion.


I knew it on a subconscious level, though I didn’t want to admit it consciously for a while since all I really cared about were the presents. I never really liked my family all that much…

1 Like

I suspect my position was similar when I was young. I can never state when I realized jesus and santa were not real, but I do recall that I was not going to rock the boat because I didn’t want to interrupt the flow of toys or candy.


I never believed in either; but I had a rather strange childhood, and didn’t really have any experience with people who payed lip service to either idea until I was perhaps 7. By then it was too late.


Oh, my mom is an atheist (and so was the person she was dating), so I was kinda just too lazy to think about that lol