(sniff sniff…) Uh, you mean…I will have access to the invisible handbook?…and, and the list of snappy retorts? (tearing up)…Surely I am not worthy of the secret handshake and other non-existent things?? 
the hand signals too?
…and I don’t have to perform any degrading acts anymore??? (eyes watering in appreciation)
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Edit (I can’t wait to try on my robe)