Kindness, I’m not sure about you, but it is something I crave. I wish everyone on this forum well. I think the kindest person I found is FivevelJ, followed a close second by Boomer and David-Killens. And to be honest, I didn’t demonstrate much either (My apologies Whitefire13, I was the cunt, not you). I thought I found kindness when I became a Christian, and I did for a season, but it was only available while I towed the line, and I just couldn’t stand their homophobic god, if that god does exist - FUCK YOU. All power to all of you, but I’m just not cut out for this forum (call me a soft cock and you will probably be correct). I learned heaps, but my head is not cut out for this. My bad.
We are always here… A critical mind can only withstand fantasy for so long… see you again soon…
To each their own!
Have fun …
Perhaps you’ll examine various ways and expressions of “kindness”.
In the words of Arnold … you’ll be bacckkkk
Ahhhhhhh, sorry to see you go. Maybe you’ll change your mind at some point. I think the capacity for kindness is definitely one of human races better qualities and something to strive for in ourselves. The kindness of strangers I’ve experienced in my life has made me want to be a better person. Unfailing kindness is a pretty high bar to set. On internet forums I’m willing to settle for finding a few kindred spirits, interesting people, and debates I’m having not turning into vicious personal attacks .
…and laughs… and sexual “tension” drama and poetry and, and… memes and and oh, yah, the grown ups that keeps us kids behaving (all hail @Hadmin - pelt with little snowballs)
Well I must say I am sorry to see you go. And of course I am a nice person I do not need a god in my life to be a kind and nice person.
Hope things work out well for you.
@Bryan Sorry to see you go, bro. I am here on occasion, popping in and out occasionally to check on things here, and to see the latest invasion by any theists, but I wish you well.
Then again, some people would not recognize kindness if it crawled up their leg and into their ass. They think kindness has something to do with “kudos” and “complements,” “niceties,” and “going out of one’s way to not rock the boat.” They actually miss the fact that “blunt force trauma can often be one of the nicest things that ever happen to us.” Nothing can wake us up like a fucking REALITY CHECK!
How kind is it to let someone talk with spinach on their tooth, or a piece of toilet paper hanging off their shoe or caught in their pants?
Yet I have been around people who will let their friends walk around like that without telling them “for fear of embarrassing them” (ohhhhh)
I always point it out. Let the person feel their discomfort. They fix it, thank me and move on.
Probably thinking hmmmm…I wonder, I ate that 2 hour ago and talked to so-and-so and so-and-so and …
Indeed. Or if one follows The Tao, nothing.
What’s better. To warn a child about fire or allow it to receive a small burn? I was warned, but still just HAD to touch the wood stove. I was two. Even then I wanted to know.
I think there’s a limit to the degree we can or should protect others from themselves.
I also think the effectiveness of ‘constructive criticism’ is moot as a general practice…
LOL… Psychology 101, “Never Give Advice.” One of the very first things you learn. Never tell a client what they should do, must do, have to do… etc… "They do that in prisons. They have discovered, “A mind convinced against its will is of the same opinion still.”
Yair, I think non directive counselling is ideal, and is what my Psychologist used with me. My shrink was very directive and even yelled at me a few times. Eventually struck a balance which worked for me. It’s over four years since I’ve wanted to kill myself.
In prisons they may use a different counselling model. Glasser’s Reality Therapy is claimed to work well with people in institutions:
Glasser is controversial because he rejects the concept of mental illness. Although I reject Freud’s model of consciousness, I accept the existence of say psychopathy.
I’ve long had a sneaking suspicion that great deal of psychotherapy is simply bourgeois self indulgence. But I could be wrong***
Indeed. I was not able to give up drinking or smoking until I wanted to, for my own sake.
*** I can’t remember when or where I read this, so it may be taken as anecdotal. That if left untreated, around 30 percent of people with depression recover on their own.
I think it is more than 30 percent. Many people with depression go through it without ever seeking any kind of assistance and recover. There are natural periods of depression in life around “Transitional Stages.” Death of a loved one, Loss of a job, Divorce, some tragedy or natural disaster causing great loss, etc… Depression can be a very natural reaction to life. A mental shut down.
Anyway… I think your perception of psychotherapy is spot on. It is as useless as a wetsuit on a frog. That goes for all therapies. The therapy that works is the one you choose to use.
The Reality therapies are particularly good for prison populations because they are simple, easy to understand, and logical. They, like all other therapies, only work when you use them. It is the client that decides to do the work, not the therapy working. If the therapy works, it is because you are using it to get what you want.
I utterly and completely hate 3 main things about psychoanalysis. The first is regression - as if it is actually true. The second is all bullshit about the mind being divided into id, ego and superego states that correspond to unconscious, preconscious and conscious. The goal of psychoanalysis is to un-restrict or open up the free flow of information from the unconscious to the conscious.
As if any of that shit is real. The third is the assumption that this free flow of information means you are now a healthy individual. HORSESHIT!
Look at WOODY ALAN - 30 years in Psychoanalysis. 2 years in Sexual Abuse Counseling. Listen to the man talk. He has the cult lingo of psychoanalysis down to an art. This is what people who spend time in psychoanalysis all sound like. It is a part of the training.
The therapist listens and then interprets what he hears according to psychoanalytic theory. In doing so, he teaches the client psychoanalytic terminology and excises. Many psychoanalytic therapist opt for more modern counseling techniques for most clients these days. Still, a medical doctor can become a licensed psychoanalytic therapist in just two years and administer drugs for psychological ailments.
A clinical psychologist, who has studied psychology and related fields for 8 to 10 years, can not administer drugs, but is one hell of a better clinician than most psychiatrists in my book.
With that said… I love the Freudian defense mechanisms. I disagree as to their causes, but do regard them as defensive maneuvers. Outward manifestations of internal conflict.
If you ever get the chance, read some of Freud’s original work. The guy reads like an idiot. (IMO) Especially when he discusses regression and transference.
Reminds me. Anyone ever read the original works of Benjamin Franklin? Was he the nosey busy body whiny little porky tattling fat kid that everyone wanted to knock the shit out of? Or am I mistaken? I was not impressed at all with his autobiography.
Freud and Franklin were two of my bubbles that were burst. Most definitely.
Well, yes and no.
I went through an anti shrink phase, so I tried a couple of non medical models:
Transactional analysis group therapy and Radix (Neo Reichian psychology) I received some relief from each while I attended.
I finally got seriously suicidal. Sought and accepted help from a shrink and a psychologist. Saw the shrink for 7 years. The psychologist for 8 years. The combination of a cocktail of psychotropics and therapy kept me alive and built a slightly stronger version of me. Still take the drugs though.
Not so far, no desire any more. I once listened to a science show about a monograph Freud wrote with a title like “What are we doing to our children?” Based on the large number of women he saw who claimed to have been sexually abused within their family. There was an uproar from his peers. So he went away and reworked it. What emerged was his theory of female hysteria. Long time ago, but I’ve never forgot the broadcast
I read Jung’s autobiography ‘Memories Dreams and reflections’; More lunacy; synchronicity ,racial archetypes and of course an account of his personal experiences with poltergeists.
Wilhelm Reich was a contemporary of Freud and Jung. His ideas made both of them seem utterly rational. I read his ideas in “The Orgone Theory Of Energy”
I’m thinking of something I read over 40 years ago. The basic claim was that people willimprove when they receive intense scrutiny or therapy. That it is the attention which is important
People improve when it becomes important for them to improve. I always liked the theory of inertia and thought it applicable to human beings, " **A human at rest will stay at rest, and a human in motion will stay in motion at constant velocity, unless acted upon by an unbalancing situation. Inertia is the tendency a human to resist changes in velocity: whether in motion or motionless.
I learned a long time ago that people tend not to change. That when they do, change tends to be sudden. That’s how it’s always been for me. Mostly, I’ve grooved along, thumb in bum, mind in neutral. In dumb suffering or in joy.
Yep… most of us tend to do that. I think I am lucky for the trauma in my life that has forced change upon me.
I’ve thought about that. Not sure I agree completely. It took some very savage blows to my ego over a long period to learn some lessons.
Never have learned how to have an adult relationship.
I tend to believe that once I have made peace with the savagery, I am a better person for it. There is only one way for a bed to be neatly made, but a million ways for it to be messed up. There is just one way for life to be fair but a billion ways for it to be messed up. Whoever says “Life should be fair.” is living in delusion.
I never make my bed. I just mess it up again, so I couldn’t be bothered. It’s clean and comfortable and a crumpled blanket doesn’t bother me.