I tried going back to it for my ex wife. I lied to myself and felt if I acted and pretended enough that I could convince myself.
In the end. I couldn’t do that to myself. I couldn’t lie to myself. I could not go back to believing something that I was SURE in my mind that it was fictional and fake.
I needed to see the things the Bible claimed in action like seeing people demonstrate miracles and a booming voice from the sky ordering people what to do. I need objective evidence of some kind. All Christians have are pretty words and threats.