I went back and read your response, and all I can say is you don’t know anything about my current situation. Even if I did want to leave, there’s no place for me to go except to the home of one of our kids. My SSDI monthly payment did get an almost 10% raise for '23, but that’s only because of the high inflation that the losers in DC have created, so it’s just a wash, it’s only enough to stay where we are. I can’t afford to go anywhere.
I can no longer work to make a living, I’m a shell of what I was say 10 years ago physically. I have Idiopathic Poly Neuropathy that started in my feet and has spread up both of my legs.
If/when I either stand or walk for more than 5-10 minutes, both legs go completely numb to the point that I can’t feel them, all the way down into my feet. I have to walk short distances using either my walking stick, or a shopping cart if we’re in a store. It sucks.
I’ve also lost most of the feeling in both hands. I can’t draw a straight line or even cut a straight line with a saw anymore.
Between 2011 and '18, I had over a dozen operations for Carpal Tunnel, Osteoarthritis, bone spurs, and skin cancer. I had surgery on my right hand 2 times because the first one didn’t work, and once on the left.
I’ve had knee surgery 5 times, once on the right side, and 4 times on my left. They did a partial replacement on that one in Nov.'18, and it’s still not right. I still have chronic pain in both knees.
I’ve also had to have neck surgery on 2 different occasions because of ruptured discs, I have 2 plates in my neck from C5 down to my collar bone.
I also had half a dozen bone spurs removed from my right elbow, because of the decades of playing baseball, football, tennis, and disc golf. I’ve lost over 25% of my range of mobility in my right arm because of a large calcium deposit in that joint. I can’t straighten it or bend it completely anymore, this also sucks.
This has been my situation for over 7 years now, and I’m only getting older and more broken down every year, and now our kids are having to step in and help us out. When both of our kids first got married, we helped them out financially several times. We had the money to do it then, now we basically have nothing to fall back on if something bad/big were to happen.
We’re lucky that both of our kids and their spouses have been very successful and they’re willing to help us out whenever we need it. It’s both embarrassing and humbling to have to ask for help, I’ve always worked to support my family, but that’s been taken away from me.
It’s the reason we’re in this situation.
The only “GOD” in my life or in my future definitely isn’t my wife as you claimed, it’s death. Most normal people are afraid of death, but I’m looking forward to it, no more PAIN. I can’t describe how tired I am of being in constant, chronic pain, it sucks everything out of you and results in a crappy quality of life.
I can never live up to your “standards”, which is fine with me. You live your life, and I’ll deal with mine for as long as I think it’s worth sticking around. Hopefully I’ll still be around to see my granddaughters get married and raise families of their own, but only time will tell.
NON SERVIAM